(In) Dependence
We celebrate independence. Freedom is a good thing. Liberation from tyranny was such a powerful concept that men and women gave (give) their lives for it. Independent. Freedom from...Freedom from totalitarianism, freedom from oppressive government, freedom from inequality, freedom from suffering. Oh if only the last line were true. Freedom from suffering. Alas, it is not to be, especially for Christians.

The thing I'm trying to work out is how to suffer - physical pain or injustice - honorably. For example, how do you cope with another person's anger and viciousness toward you and still glorify God? I have a really sweet friend, Job, who is surrendering himself to the police tomorrow. Job was intentionally accused of something serious, which he didn't remotely do. The guy who first brought the charge has even said he lied (in print), but that hasn't stopped a vindictive detective or an overzealous DA, from proceeding. So, Job goes to jail tomorrow to begin the process of being charged with a crime. What you need to know is that Job has a godly ministry that extends beyond the walls of any church. He impacts broken and hurting people with the power of Christ, and for that he has many enemies. Job's enemies have conspired to do whatever they can to make his life one of humiliation and suffering.

Surrendering to the police tomorrow isn't the only thing he is dealing with today. One of his sons is severely handicapped, so much so that they have hired a person to sit with him for almost 18 hrs a day. Job's church family abandon him recently, his heater and air conditioner went out in his house and had to be replaced, and the list goes on. (Really it does.) Today when I saw him I was taken back to the biblical Job. Suffering. Both men know it first hand. "Man, what a miserable existence," I think. I couldn't do it. I'd snap. Crash! Right off the ol' rails I'd run. There isn't enough power in the universe to keep me living right, if I had to deal with the dump truck load of suffering Job is dealing with. I have a little injustice, and a bit of anger, in my life, but nothing like this.

I asked him, "Are you anxious about any of it?"
"No."
"Really? No hollow feeling? No emptiness? No, 'Man this sucks!'"
"No. I'm really ok with it all. As a matter of fact, during all my trials, I've grown more as a Christian than before I had problems. See, suffering drives people toward God. Suffering, real hurt and pain, pushes people to depend on God, and God alone, to sustain them. During times of suffering, people know they can't get through it on their own, so they desperately grasp at God's power. And the thing is, God digs that because it is there, in that dependent suffering, that God can do some marvelous work. Plus, I count it a blessing that He finds me worthy to suffer for His Name."

It was at this point in the conversation that I wanted to hit him in the head. I wanted him to be mad. I wanted him to yell and scream at the sky and say, "Why God? Why? Why me? What have I done? Why am I suffering at the hands of the ungodly and vitriolic?" I wanted him to say that. I wanted him to feel that because that is what I felt for him. But, as soon as that thought entered my diseased head, Job said, "I mean, Scripture says, 'By his stripes we are healed.' I've found that during the greatest times of suffering I experience the greatest presence of God, and what a wonderful thing that is."

I just want to say, "Crud." I hate being shown a higher standard of living! A standard not energized by "self" but is sustained by a massively creative and resourceful God.

So, today, I'm learning that suffering is healing, suffering is a road to greater discipleship. Today, I'm learning that independence has no lasting power, but rather dependence, a dependence that is in Him - hence the title, (In) Dependence - can sustain even the most broken person. Today, I'm struggling with allowing the Spirit to work on my heart so that no matter how hard life gets I can say, like my friend Job, "just so God gets all the glory."