Expect Nothing
I have a very interesting friend who speaks to various groups about the unconditional love of God and he always begins by saying, "I hope you don't expect anything from this time together. If this is slightly better than watching the grass grow in your backyard, then I've exceeded your expectations." This friend always starts his "time" by lowering what is expected. I use to think this was a bad idea. Whatever happened to "expect great things?" or "attempt the impossible?" See my friend and I had two different views of humanity. He thinks people are basically human and flawed and not reliant. He thinks everyone will eventually let you down (because we are sinful people) and everyone will eventually disappoint you, that is, if you expect too much. This pessimistic view of humanity doesn't stop him from loving the stuffing out of people, but he loves them despite any - and all - failings. (He is truly full of grace.)

I, on the other hand, held to the belief that although people sometimes tripped (i.e. made a mistake) the tendency was for great things. I expected people to do their best, try their hardest, reach for high standards, do the next right thing and then some. I thought that was just how humans were, as a people we strove to do the best, go the extra mile, and expect it to be grand. WOW! I'm learning, AGAIN, how wrong I am. There is a line from Sartre's play No Exit, where he says, "People are hell." I'm now wondering if Sartre, who was a nihilist, slightly, just slightly, overstated that.

See, way down deep, I want to believe the best, after all, 1 Cor 13 says, "love believes all things." I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and not attribute negative motives to people, but over the last few years, my experience continues to challenge my beliefs. To be blunt, humanity continues to beat the optimism out of me.

It seems that it is easier to throw the hurting and broken under the bus, than deal with them. Case in point: My friend, along with his caring wife, has a powerful ministry to extremely broken individuals and families. His whole life is devoted to helping others. He has been called by God to love on the "unlovable," and he does it with fervor. A few weeks ago, the leadership of his church called him into a meeting to tell him he was a "liability" to what they were trying to do and asked him to sever all his "professional ties" with them. "You're gone." He and his wife attended that church for more than 15 yrs! All of the sudden, POW!! All gone. It was easier for the leadership to sacrifice him to convenience then it was to stick with him in a minor mess (a slight issue that is taking place outside the church. It is nothing immoral or illegal.). Or here is another metaphor: It was easier to sit in the dugout and talk about the effort baseball requires, then to get up and swing for your team.

This isn't the first person I've meet that has been sacrificed to convenience (I got to commiserate with my friend and told him, "Been there"). This isn't the first group of people who failed to grab a bat and at least try to swing, just because the effort would be too hard. But, see, I expected - especially from Christians - more. I expected "one cloak would get you two." But as my friend continually reminds me, "Don't expect anything."

But I do, at least until last week. Last week was difficult. I think I'm finally whooped. I think the last bit of optimism was squished out of me when men that I admired, trusted, and believed fair minded, once again tossed me under the proverbial bus. I was just a speed bump on Route 66. The bus of the establishment and rule, rolled right over me. Men I've known since 1994, Professors at a Christian college, sacrificed me to convenience rather than stand up and deal with "mess." I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm disappointed, and I'm shocked. SHOCKED! And shame on me for expecting too much. Again, I can hear my friend say, "Don't expect anything."

I suppose I'm in re-frame mode. I suppose what I need to do is lower my expectations of all people. At least then, when something negative happens - which is usually the case - I'm not disappointed, but say, "Yea, that's the norm." The plus side of lowered expectations comes when people behave in positive ways. When humanity steps up and, at least takes a swing at life, then I get to say, "Wow! Didn't expect that one!" Even if they strike out, I can say, "They went down swinging."