Just Life

I realized that I hadn't put anything on the blog in the last few days and thought I would do a little information dumping this morning in hopes of just letting you know what is going on with us.

Re: Family - This weekend is Rachel's birthday. It is hard to believe that I've got a 10 yr old. Now, some of you are saying, "Yea, just wait. One day your 10 yr old, will have a 10 yr old." Ok, Ok. I get it. Time marches on, blah, blah, blah. That still doesn't make the reality of MY life any less difficult to grasp. Regularly I pray, "God help me, please help me. I'm getting older." I remember when I could watch MTV. Now, it hurts my head. Only being a 1 TV family, I'm loathing the day when my daughter comes home wanting to "veg" in front of flashing pictures, indecipherable lyrics, and a headache providing bass lines. Oh, the joys that await me.

But that is not this weekend. This weekend she turns 10 and - at least this morning - she is still a little girl. I'm going to soak in her jubilance at unwrapping dolls, dressing up, and playing some sort of "pin the tail," "crown a princess," or "heart a prince" game. We are traveling from Big D to the Temple area to spend the time with Nana and Grandad.

As life moves forward, I'm doing a lot of "recovery." I don't feel that I can divulge too much at this point - I'm just not there yet, but I will say that things are good. At this phase in life, I'm doing a lot of house cleaning. I know its Fall, but I liken it to a good Spring cleaning. Opening long closed closets, taking everything out of the attic for inventory, seeing what can stay and what needs to go. Scouring the memory, the mind, even the soul in order to be able to live in a sanitized version of myself. If you've ever done Spring cleaning you know, it is no fun. In the end it is rewarding, but no fun. I'm reminded about a parable in Luke's gospel where Jesus tells a little story about cleaning house. It is in Lk 11:24 and following. It is a disturbing story in a way, but it has a great point.

In the story, Jesus basically says that a guy "got right." He cleaned house. He removed the "demons," (or what I'll call "the refuse") from his life. Weather literally or figurative, we can all agree it was bad stuff. With all that junk out, the house/person gets thoroughly cleaned. But a good cleaning isn't enough. Jesus goes on to make the point that a good cleaning is just an invitation. All the crud that has been tossed is liable to an come back, and it can come back with a vengeance. This doesn't mean that cleaning isn't a good thing. On the contrary. Jesus' point isn't that we shouldn't make a "searching inventory" of ourselves from time to time. Jesus' point is that once the house is clean it needs to be filled by something healthy. Once the house is clean, the invitation isn't for our - for my - old desires and blockheaded behaviors to return. The invitation is for the presence of God to come and abide. The invitation is for the Spirit to come and make himself at home, to hang pictures of the family, to put down a throw rug before the hearth of my heart and bring a wholeness that only God can bring.

I'm looking for that today. May you find it too. Peace, Jeff